To My Future Child

To My Future Child -

You have not even been conceived yet, but I fear for you in the world in which you will be raised. You will likely be born in a nation where half of the population will fight for your right to live in my womb, but does not anger at the thought of you being shot for stepping on someone's lawn while holding Skittles. Well, they would likely anger if it were you. See, in the world that you will be born into you will be born with a privilege provided to you just because of the amount of pigment in your skin. In our nation, your friends of color are twenty eight times more likely to be incarcerated than you are. People may question that statistic, but when seven times as many black people are in jail as white people and there are 4 times as many white people in this country as their are black people it is the truth. This isn't because they are inherently bad people. Your friends who were born with a darker skin color than you are more likely to receive longer, harsher sentences than you would if you committed the same crime. In the country that you will be raised, black people are statistically twice as likely to be shot by police even if they are unarmed. You will be born into a second wave of the civil rights movement because Martin Luther King Jr's dream has not been fulfilled.

I have mentioned guns. You will be coming into a world where in a 10 year span (from 2005-2015), only 71 Americans were killed by terrorists on U.S. soil, but 301,797 were killed by gun violence. It will likely still be easier for you to access and buy a gun than access mental health services. To a large portion of your country's population, the solution to this pandemic is not stricter gun regulations or background checks. They want to release more guns onto the streets. There are mass shootings daily, but they account for less than 2% of annual gun deaths. Gun owners are actually more likely to be killed with their own gun than to defend themselves with it. After 20 first and second graders were murdered at their school in Connecticut, it has become a tangible fear that I have for you. Sadly, you will have to learn how to hide and defend yourself from gun violence in kindergarten.

You will be raised to have strong opinions and that failure to speak out when you see someone marginalized is tantamount to being the perpetrator. You will be entering a world where your President might be a man who degrades women, minorities, and the disabled. Unlike his supporters, I hope that you don't stand silent when people do this because doing the right thing and standing up to bullies is a principle that needs to be woven back into the fabric of this nation. Please remember that to stand silent is to condone bigotry and that only lowers others opinion of you.

Speaking of women being degraded, if you happen to be a baby girl, you will statistically be paid $0.70 to a man's dollar for doing equal work. You will come into a world where if someone sexually violates you, the consideration of your rapist's well-being and future may outweigh your well-being and future. If someone violates you, society's first reaction will generally be one an inquiry of what you are wearing or about how much alcohol you drank last night rather than outrage. You will be born into a culture that doesn't teach men not to rape, but tells women that they must learn how not to be. If you were to be impregnated by this potential rapist, a large percentage of the people around you believe that you should be forced to bring the baby to full term. They would rather you walk around for 9 months with a tangible reminder of the horror that was inflicted upon you.

Many of those same people who would vilify you for making the choice not to bring a child to term due to not being financially, mentally, or situationally ready are also proponents of eliminating the welfare system that makes sure that children have access to healthcare, housing, and food. They say that there is never a good time to have a child, but don't have the awareness to see that there may be a bad time. Those who vilify abortions simultaneously promote (perhaps unknowingly) forcing women to bring their offspring into poverty or abusive situations where the resources to care for the child are absent.

Sadly, you will know people who fly an American flag in front of their home and tout Patriotism at every turn, but who did not find it important enough to vote individuals into public office who protect the men and women who risked their lives on 9/11 at Ground Zero protecting this country by voting for the First Responders Bill. You will know people who don't cry in outrage when they see homeless veteran's on the street not being taken care of by the nation that they so boldly defended.

It saddens and terrifies me that you will be coming into a world that is still this ugly. Luckily, not everything is bad and progress has been made. In the last year and a half, you will now be able to love and marry whomever you wish. Unfortunately, if you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you will still have more obstacles than your straight, cisgender friends. There is still so much bigotry in this world. This year, 49 people were gunned down in a nightclub for just being who they were. There are still people in this country actively working to repeal rights from this community. I truly hope that no matter how you identify that you understand the importance of everyone having the right to love who they want and realize that it is a fundamental human right.

I hope that you know that compassion, empathy, and a willingness to work hard are traits that outweigh any others on your path to success. I hope that you know that you have the right to make your own choices in this life. I hope that you make the important ones that you approach the situation from all viewpoints to ascertain the choice that not only benefits you, but the world around you the most. I hope for this because that is what will make you a contributing member of society.

Your religion and beliefs will not be dictated for you, but you will be expected to be able to defend them. Your father and I will not be disappointed if you choose to be a Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, or Atheist. I hope that you come to your own conclusions and find your place in the world. I hope that you know that even though you will be surrounded by this madness, that you will be loved and cherished by a family who wants nothing more than to see you succeed in spite of the world that surrounds you.

Love,
Your Future Mom

Can I get a Hail Mary? Or not, because that's fine too.

      In the spirit of Easter and this Lenten season, religion has been on the minds of most. I was baptized Catholic  as an infant. From what I'm told, this has saved my soul from damnation and made me a Catholic for life. The thing about that is, I don't think I want that stigma associated with me.

      My experience with the church has never been too positive: in my youth or today. I'm not sure if I've only been blessed enough to only meet the bigots and uncultured sector of the Catholic Church or if the majority of the constituency actually believes the hate that has been spewed at me and about me.

      I was forced to dress up and sit through a Catholic mass every Sunday from my infancy until I was around ten years old. I had to go hang out in Sunday School whilst the adults drank coffee and conversed afterwards. I took communion and believed the majority of what all these adults were telling me that is, until my parents' divorce. For some reason, my father was no longer welcome in the congregation and people weren't being too kind about him. A priest went as far as to tell me that I was a bastard child because of my parents' sins. That was the end of my involvement in the Church. I never went back and refused to become confirmed.

      Since then, I have managed to read the Bible and have formed my own interpretation of it. Something that I encourage everyone to do instead of blindly following a certain religion. I learned that the Bible is not the word of God, but the word of the disciples. The disciples were not God; they were not Jesus. They were common men like the rest of us. The Bible is no primary source. Much of it was written hundreds of years after the death of Christ, so the authors didn't even have a first hand account of his life. When you critically analyze the Bible, you quickly realize that you need to read between the lines and discredit parts that obviously go against Christ's essential teachings because it is riddled with the opinions of the common man. You also need to observe the fact that it is an ancient text; it is over two thousand years old. There is so much of it that does not hold a place in a modern society.

       My takeaways from the Bible were that Jesus died on the cross for me to absolve me of all my sins. He lived a life of kindness to his fellow man. His good works were not governed by hate, but by love. Jesus loved all man. He loved them no matter their flaws. 

      These takeaways are why I so ardently question and challenge the Catholic Church. I question it's refusal to allow women to be ordained. I question the church's reaction in the midst of a sexual abuse scandal. I question it's constituency in their treatment of homosexuals and unwed mothers. 

      I don't want to be associated with an organization that discriminates against others in the name of someone who preached nothing but love and understanding. I don't want to be associated with a group in which it's highest powered members ignored and denied the claims of children that they were being abused by the people from whom they were supposed to be learning of Jesus's love. When I look at these people who claim to be devout in the teachings of Christ, all I see is hypocrisy because that is all that I've ever encountered. 

      I wish that people would take the time to critically analyze their lives if they are going to preach that they are holier than thou. They should educate themselves on what message they are sending. They claim to be following the Bible, but they should critically look at the way they live their life and realize that it is nearly impossible to be following the Bible in any modern society. Instead, they are picking and choosing which parts of the Bible are convenient for them or that credit the hate that fills their hearts at the moment. 

      I believe that you do not need religion to live a morally sound life. Live your life in the ethic of reciprocity and you will generally do well in life. If you really need to drag religion into it, it's right there in the Bible, "And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise." Luke 6:31. 

      Hands down, playing by the Golden Rule will get you far. Denying other people the same things that you expect for yourself, is morally reprehensible. Govern by love, make decisions in empathy, and always question without evidence.