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Wednesday, November 6, 2013

One-Step World Peace


            I would like to tell you about how we could achieve world peace in one-step. I understand that you may think that I am clinically ill for proposing that I have a solution for world peace that is only one tiny step. I mean it has been an elusive concept for millennia.  How can it be as easy as one step? It is a simple yet mind-bendingly difficult concept. It boils down to how you think of yourself and how you react of others. By applying this concept to our daily lives, our dyadic communication, our organizations, our nations, and all the way up to our world, we take steps towards making this world a better place. I’m going to focus on the first three places I mentioned: self, individual communication, and within an organization. If we can apply this to just those three we could virtually eliminate the need for risk management and undoubtedly increase our retention within Alpha Phi Omega. Now, I’ve been hyping this up without telling you my secret. The secret to a better environment is simply empathetic listening. Now, bear with me for just a few minutes and I will explain. Most of us know how to listen, but with that we have a learned set of biases that influence what we hear and interpret. We have a unique set of filters that create our personal reality: culture, language, values, beliefs, attitudes, expectations, intentions. Because no one has the same perceptual set, no one has the same reality. I’m not saying that everyone should be psychiatrically admitted. In order to succeed at interpersonal communication you have to be aware of not only your own filters, but the filters of those around you. By applying empathy and understanding to why someone thinks the way they do, you can better succeed in finding a solution that pleases both parties.

In order to be successful, the most important aspect is having a true sense of self and acknowledging your personal biases. For this I’m going to recount some of my own perceptual filters and how they affect my reality. It is an example of why I will see the world differently than every other person in this room. I grew up in a home with divorced parents, one of whom revealed he was in fact gay when I was 9 years old. I grew up in the Catholic Church and then denounced it when my priest told me at age 11 that I was a bastard child who would never find Heaven. I’ve been in situations of sexual and physical violence and experienced episodes of major depression. But even with those factors, I have a wonderful set of friends and family who encourage me in everything that I do. Can you see how my perceptual filters would cause me to see the world differently than other people? I encourage you to think about what some of your perceptual filters are because understanding what affects your interpretation skills will help you look past your personal biases, see situations from multiple perspectives, and embrace post formal thinking. Next time you find yourself getting angry or vehemently in support or against something, I urge you to reflect on what experiences and conditions have led you to that response and consider what perceptual filters people who might disagree with you might have. Considering the perceptual filters of others is what will truly lead to a sense of harmony in your life, so let’s move on to dyadic communication.

                The first step to applying this concept is through dyadic communication, or communication between two parties. Remember, everyone has their own reality and it will inevitably be different than yours. When someone expresses a sentiment that you disagree with, remember there is a reason that they think that way. Their reason is dictated in the same fashion yours was: through their individual experiences. For example, if you recall from my above example, I had a gay father and I have denounced my religion. As a result, I am very passionate about gay rights: a hugely controversial subject in society right now. I also know people who are vehemently opposed to the idea of two men or two women being married. I will never agree with them because I interpret not only their Bible, but my moral compass in a different fashion than they do, but I do have the ability to consider why they might think the way they do. What could influence them to believe that gay marriage should not happen?

·         How they personally interpret the Bible
·         Fear of Rejection by important parts of their life
·         External influences:
o   Church
o   Family Beliefs
o   Beliefs of Friends

We must remember that people are a product of their surroundings. Their biases are learned and they were not born with them. We must understand that getting angry at someone for their beliefs is not productive. Instead try to utilize empathy and see the situation from their perspective. In some cases, you might see the situation in an entirely new light and learn something from the experience. Approach every interaction you have with an open mind and the results could surprise you. Our goal should be a healthy understanding of one another in order to cultivate respect. When this mutual respect and understanding can be achieved on both sides, both parties can universally walk away better than when they first encountered.


Now, we can move on to the organization. Your committee, chapter, section, region, and the national organization as a whole are all dyadic communication on a larger scale. There will always be disagreement as to what is best for the organization going forward. Make it a goal to check your filters when approaching a problem and consider the filters of others. Acknowledge why you think the way you do before engaging in an argument. Be empathetic and listen to why others feel the way they do. This will lead to a decline in tension. This decline in tension will often lead to you being a happier individual as well as the individuals surrounding you to be happier. Approaching things in this way creates the highest probability that a solution that is acceptable to everyone is met. When the organization as a whole is happier, the issue of retention lessens and the need for risk management virtually ceases to exist because the group is functioning harmoniously.