To My Future Child

To My Future Child -

You have not even been conceived yet, but I fear for you in the world in which you will be raised. You will likely be born in a nation where half of the population will fight for your right to live in my womb, but does not anger at the thought of you being shot for stepping on someone's lawn while holding Skittles. Well, they would likely anger if it were you. See, in the world that you will be born into you will be born with a privilege provided to you just because of the amount of pigment in your skin. In our nation, your friends of color are twenty eight times more likely to be incarcerated than you are. People may question that statistic, but when seven times as many black people are in jail as white people and there are 4 times as many white people in this country as their are black people it is the truth. This isn't because they are inherently bad people. Your friends who were born with a darker skin color than you are more likely to receive longer, harsher sentences than you would if you committed the same crime. In the country that you will be raised, black people are statistically twice as likely to be shot by police even if they are unarmed. You will be born into a second wave of the civil rights movement because Martin Luther King Jr's dream has not been fulfilled.

I have mentioned guns. You will be coming into a world where in a 10 year span (from 2005-2015), only 71 Americans were killed by terrorists on U.S. soil, but 301,797 were killed by gun violence. It will likely still be easier for you to access and buy a gun than access mental health services. To a large portion of your country's population, the solution to this pandemic is not stricter gun regulations or background checks. They want to release more guns onto the streets. There are mass shootings daily, but they account for less than 2% of annual gun deaths. Gun owners are actually more likely to be killed with their own gun than to defend themselves with it. After 20 first and second graders were murdered at their school in Connecticut, it has become a tangible fear that I have for you. Sadly, you will have to learn how to hide and defend yourself from gun violence in kindergarten.

You will be raised to have strong opinions and that failure to speak out when you see someone marginalized is tantamount to being the perpetrator. You will be entering a world where your President might be a man who degrades women, minorities, and the disabled. Unlike his supporters, I hope that you don't stand silent when people do this because doing the right thing and standing up to bullies is a principle that needs to be woven back into the fabric of this nation. Please remember that to stand silent is to condone bigotry and that only lowers others opinion of you.

Speaking of women being degraded, if you happen to be a baby girl, you will statistically be paid $0.70 to a man's dollar for doing equal work. You will come into a world where if someone sexually violates you, the consideration of your rapist's well-being and future may outweigh your well-being and future. If someone violates you, society's first reaction will generally be one an inquiry of what you are wearing or about how much alcohol you drank last night rather than outrage. You will be born into a culture that doesn't teach men not to rape, but tells women that they must learn how not to be. If you were to be impregnated by this potential rapist, a large percentage of the people around you believe that you should be forced to bring the baby to full term. They would rather you walk around for 9 months with a tangible reminder of the horror that was inflicted upon you.

Many of those same people who would vilify you for making the choice not to bring a child to term due to not being financially, mentally, or situationally ready are also proponents of eliminating the welfare system that makes sure that children have access to healthcare, housing, and food. They say that there is never a good time to have a child, but don't have the awareness to see that there may be a bad time. Those who vilify abortions simultaneously promote (perhaps unknowingly) forcing women to bring their offspring into poverty or abusive situations where the resources to care for the child are absent.

Sadly, you will know people who fly an American flag in front of their home and tout Patriotism at every turn, but who did not find it important enough to vote individuals into public office who protect the men and women who risked their lives on 9/11 at Ground Zero protecting this country by voting for the First Responders Bill. You will know people who don't cry in outrage when they see homeless veteran's on the street not being taken care of by the nation that they so boldly defended.

It saddens and terrifies me that you will be coming into a world that is still this ugly. Luckily, not everything is bad and progress has been made. In the last year and a half, you will now be able to love and marry whomever you wish. Unfortunately, if you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you will still have more obstacles than your straight, cisgender friends. There is still so much bigotry in this world. This year, 49 people were gunned down in a nightclub for just being who they were. There are still people in this country actively working to repeal rights from this community. I truly hope that no matter how you identify that you understand the importance of everyone having the right to love who they want and realize that it is a fundamental human right.

I hope that you know that compassion, empathy, and a willingness to work hard are traits that outweigh any others on your path to success. I hope that you know that you have the right to make your own choices in this life. I hope that you make the important ones that you approach the situation from all viewpoints to ascertain the choice that not only benefits you, but the world around you the most. I hope for this because that is what will make you a contributing member of society.

Your religion and beliefs will not be dictated for you, but you will be expected to be able to defend them. Your father and I will not be disappointed if you choose to be a Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, or Atheist. I hope that you come to your own conclusions and find your place in the world. I hope that you know that even though you will be surrounded by this madness, that you will be loved and cherished by a family who wants nothing more than to see you succeed in spite of the world that surrounds you.

Love,
Your Future Mom

There is No Excuse for Stupidity

      The culture that is New York City and the rest of the East Coast is unlike anywhere else in the country. Growing up in its shadow has certainly contributed to who I have become as a person. As a child, I thought that attending various dinner parties and spending the afternoon at the yacht club swimming and sailing on Long Island Sound was something everyone had the opportunity to do. If you didn't know the difference between port and starboard by the time you were five, you were considered a dunce. In a way, the existence from an outward prospective can seem extravagant, but in Larchmont, it's what everyone seemed to do.

      This culture trickles down from an attitude that I think more of society should take in life. When you visit New York and the people I have grown up around, you will not find an ignorant person. People who live here can be seen as a little conceited, pompous, and haughty at times, but you would be hard pressed to find someone truly oblivious to the world around them. 

     There is no shortage of intelligent banter that occurs in this what some might consider a socialite type of atmosphere. Everyone I know reads current events, is capable of holding intelligent conversation, and is interested in pursuing learning, no matter what their age. There is a certain level of social engagement that is expected of you here. It is amazing to just sit and listen, because everyone has an opinion that they are willing to back up with a reason for them. I find it refreshing that I heard a 16 year old chime up in the middle of a conversation about 4th century Christianity and Judaism and have an interesting comment to add to the conversation.

      I honestly wish that more people would prescribe to this style of living. If everyone was as socially engaged as this small circle of people that I have grown up around, the world would be a much more progressive place. People should feel that it is their responsibility to stay informed. It is alarming that a lot of children in Westchester County, New York are more informed about politics than most of American adults, but it's downright alarming that they are probably more insightful than many members of Congress.

      Everyone should take a leaf out of these peoples' books and pick up a book and tune into a news station once in a while. The prerequisites to become a citizen of this country should be ingrained in the minds of those born here. If you haven't bothered to read the Constitution and learn the more important points of at least the country's history and preferably the world, make it your mission to do so. If you have no idea the difference between a Shi'ite and a Sunni or what is going on in Syria, read up. 

      It has always surprised me that ignorance is not listed as one of the deadly sins. If you were to look at most atrocities happening on this planet, it always boils down to ignorance. The first step to making this world a better place for the next generation is to be informed about what makes this world a shitty one. Ignorance is not bliss. Picking and choosing passages of different texts, sacred or legal, and taking them out of context or ignoring the others is morally corrupt. Your beliefs and morals should not blindly replicate those of your parents. The only way for progress to occur is to expand your knowledge base and create your own. 

      I'm not saying to abandon what your family and friends have molded you to be, but you should expose yourself to as much of the world as possible. Drink it all in because the educated are who make it far in the world. If you look at history, the go-getters are the ones to enact the change. The phrase, 'I don't care,' was not in their vocabulary. Think of your biggest role model or someone you most admire in the history books, did they blindly follow the crowd or did they try to look at the world a bit differently? It really comes down to the fact that you have to be the change you want to be in the world and in order to do so effectively, you have to be educated.

I am pro-life, anti-gay marriage, and pro-guns.

      I am pro-life, but only when it concerns myself. When it concerns another human being, I will relinquish that viewpoint in concern to myself and support whatever choice they may choose when it concerns their own body. I say this with the stipulation that the abortion is performed within the legal amount of time after conception or if the pregnancy becomes life threatening to the mother after the legal window closes. I have this political stance because I believe a child should come into this world and be cared for by people who truly want them. If a mother wants to get an abortion, she does not want the child. No child should ever be born into an environment in which it is not wanted. People retaliate to this saying that the parent should choose adoption. There are so many children in the foster system already. In the US, there are approximately 100,000 children of all ages waiting to be adopted. I feel it is only fair to give them a home to call their own.

      I am anti-gay marriage, but only when it concerns myself. I do not have any future plans to marry a woman, mostly because I like boys (a lot). Anyone else who wishes to marry someone who has the same naughty bits as them though, go for it. Love is love, everyone deserves the right to be happy. People say it is against the teachings of the Bible. Number one: No, butt sex is against the teachings of the Bible. Number two: So is divorce, eating shellfish, playing football, tattoos and working on Sunday, but most of America does those things any way. Besides, marriage is a contract with the government, why does religion have anything to do with it? For those people who harp on the fact that marriage is an institution meant for procreation, then, why are post-menopausal women and infertile people allowed to wed? Return to the previous paragraph, there are so many children in need of homes: adoption is a wonderful option (FOR ANYONE who can provide a stable loving home, including the gays). Also, I'm pretty sure that babies magically happen out of wedlock, for supporting evidence: turn on MTV.

       I am pro-guns, but only in the case that the people operating them have thorough training and background checks. It should not be easier to purchase and own a gun than to get mental healthcare assistance. I also believe that there is no need for a civilian to have an assault rifle or for them to have high capacity magazines, let's leave those to our military. There is also a time and a place for using and carrying guns. Places where guns are outright fun and great to have: while hunting and in public places such as schools. All these activists wanting to arm school teachers, do you really want teachers to have immediate access to a gun while dealing with your terrible children? You might want to rethink that.

       I like to think that if another person's choices are in no way harming others, then they should be free to continue making those choices. The world is a better place for everyone when people are not trying to oppress others because they do not wish to live the exact same way that they do. This is the United States that we are living in, we were founded on freedom and equality, let's practice it.