What is Normal?

      There are a lot of people who like to remind me on a regular basis that I am not normal. Actually most of the time, they just like to laugh at my completely different set of morals and quirky behaviors. There is one fact that I do know: there is no such thing as normal, just varying degrees of weird. I know my life experiences aren’t anywhere near normal and I’m perfectly at peace with that. I like to think my childhood has given me an undeniably unique perspective on life. I grew up in world of contradictions. I lived in two very different worlds. It all depended upon which parent I was with. I had a mother who raised us in the conventional manner. She kept us in multiple extracurricular activities and brought up children with stellar grades and who were expected to have matching manners. She brought in the degree of stability that every child needs. She excelled as a single parent and performed better than many children brought up in a unified household. There is no question that she is the person in my life that I most look up to and I will count it as my greatest accomplishment in life if I can be half the mother she has been.

     Even under the care of such a wonderful human being, most of my quirks and truly influential moments come from the less stable part of my life. My father was a wonderful man who loved his children to a fault, but stability was not his forte. The safe reason for that was he could barely take care of himself let alone three children on his own. My mother did a lot for him while they were married. Looking back, I see now that those ten years were like caring for four children rather than three.

      My father was all book smarts and had absolutely zero common sense. He didn’t know how to clean a house or how to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Marching to the beat of his own drummer was an understatement. He didn’t seem to realize that you must set limits when it comes to your children and that there is a level of appropriateness in what your children should and should not know at a young age.

For example, here are some examples that others might call missteps in parenting:

• Allowing your 10 year old to watch Silence of the Lambs
• Leaving your sex toys and porn within view of your 12 year old
• Allowing your 14 year old to steal the neighbor's dog
• Buying your 16 year old handles of 100 proof vodka
• Offering your 17 year old marijuana

      The saddest part of this coin is he probably did all of this as a way to spite my mother, because each action was fronted with the promise that we wouldn’t tell her. Even with these mistakes, some of the things he introduced me to, I feel that everyone should be aware of. When my father came out of the closet, I learned about an entirely different culture. Interacting with the gay community has given me the chance to develop a much more open mind than I would have had by never leaving my sheltered bubble in Springboro, Ohio. My father decided to maintain a residence in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Dayton for when he was in Ohio. It was not uncommon to hear gunshots or to meet people who did not have as lucky a home life as I was blessed with. My father was heavily involved in animal rescue and I got to experience the rehabilitation of severely abused animals as well.  I was thrown into a radically liberal atmosphere from a somewhat conservative one after my parents divorced. At 17, I became involved enough in politics that I decided to work the election. This is a direct result of my experiences with my father and the community with whom he surrounded himself.

      All this said, my father was a very good man despite all of his faults and there are a great number of people who will attest to that. When the people he was closest to look at me, they see him. I, personally, like to think some of my best attributes came from him. I got my love of service, animals, and people from my father. I have developed his overwhelming confidence and knack for anything academic and I, like him, would go to the ends of the Earth for someone I love.

      Overall, my childhood was hallmarked by interaction with opposite spheres of society and these experiences ultimately complimented each other enough to get me a uniquely well-rounded childhood. I lived so many fronts. I got to grow up in a yacht club, an affluent suburb, and a ghetto. I got to grow up in a traditional structured household and an alternative one. I got to grow up in a conservative town and a liberal city. I have lived with the underrepresented and politically undermined and the people who have societal influence. I got to experience it all because my father didn’t always play by the rules and had no problem forging his own path. Some people may say that I had a screwed up childhood; I like to think it was exquisitely eccentric.