To My Future Child

To My Future Child -

You have not even been conceived yet, but I fear for you in the world in which you will be raised. You will likely be born in a nation where half of the population will fight for your right to live in my womb, but does not anger at the thought of you being shot for stepping on someone's lawn while holding Skittles. Well, they would likely anger if it were you. See, in the world that you will be born into you will be born with a privilege provided to you just because of the amount of pigment in your skin. In our nation, your friends of color are twenty eight times more likely to be incarcerated than you are. People may question that statistic, but when seven times as many black people are in jail as white people and there are 4 times as many white people in this country as their are black people it is the truth. This isn't because they are inherently bad people. Your friends who were born with a darker skin color than you are more likely to receive longer, harsher sentences than you would if you committed the same crime. In the country that you will be raised, black people are statistically twice as likely to be shot by police even if they are unarmed. You will be born into a second wave of the civil rights movement because Martin Luther King Jr's dream has not been fulfilled.

I have mentioned guns. You will be coming into a world where in a 10 year span (from 2005-2015), only 71 Americans were killed by terrorists on U.S. soil, but 301,797 were killed by gun violence. It will likely still be easier for you to access and buy a gun than access mental health services. To a large portion of your country's population, the solution to this pandemic is not stricter gun regulations or background checks. They want to release more guns onto the streets. There are mass shootings daily, but they account for less than 2% of annual gun deaths. Gun owners are actually more likely to be killed with their own gun than to defend themselves with it. After 20 first and second graders were murdered at their school in Connecticut, it has become a tangible fear that I have for you. Sadly, you will have to learn how to hide and defend yourself from gun violence in kindergarten.

You will be raised to have strong opinions and that failure to speak out when you see someone marginalized is tantamount to being the perpetrator. You will be entering a world where your President might be a man who degrades women, minorities, and the disabled. Unlike his supporters, I hope that you don't stand silent when people do this because doing the right thing and standing up to bullies is a principle that needs to be woven back into the fabric of this nation. Please remember that to stand silent is to condone bigotry and that only lowers others opinion of you.

Speaking of women being degraded, if you happen to be a baby girl, you will statistically be paid $0.70 to a man's dollar for doing equal work. You will come into a world where if someone sexually violates you, the consideration of your rapist's well-being and future may outweigh your well-being and future. If someone violates you, society's first reaction will generally be one an inquiry of what you are wearing or about how much alcohol you drank last night rather than outrage. You will be born into a culture that doesn't teach men not to rape, but tells women that they must learn how not to be. If you were to be impregnated by this potential rapist, a large percentage of the people around you believe that you should be forced to bring the baby to full term. They would rather you walk around for 9 months with a tangible reminder of the horror that was inflicted upon you.

Many of those same people who would vilify you for making the choice not to bring a child to term due to not being financially, mentally, or situationally ready are also proponents of eliminating the welfare system that makes sure that children have access to healthcare, housing, and food. They say that there is never a good time to have a child, but don't have the awareness to see that there may be a bad time. Those who vilify abortions simultaneously promote (perhaps unknowingly) forcing women to bring their offspring into poverty or abusive situations where the resources to care for the child are absent.

Sadly, you will know people who fly an American flag in front of their home and tout Patriotism at every turn, but who did not find it important enough to vote individuals into public office who protect the men and women who risked their lives on 9/11 at Ground Zero protecting this country by voting for the First Responders Bill. You will know people who don't cry in outrage when they see homeless veteran's on the street not being taken care of by the nation that they so boldly defended.

It saddens and terrifies me that you will be coming into a world that is still this ugly. Luckily, not everything is bad and progress has been made. In the last year and a half, you will now be able to love and marry whomever you wish. Unfortunately, if you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you will still have more obstacles than your straight, cisgender friends. There is still so much bigotry in this world. This year, 49 people were gunned down in a nightclub for just being who they were. There are still people in this country actively working to repeal rights from this community. I truly hope that no matter how you identify that you understand the importance of everyone having the right to love who they want and realize that it is a fundamental human right.

I hope that you know that compassion, empathy, and a willingness to work hard are traits that outweigh any others on your path to success. I hope that you know that you have the right to make your own choices in this life. I hope that you make the important ones that you approach the situation from all viewpoints to ascertain the choice that not only benefits you, but the world around you the most. I hope for this because that is what will make you a contributing member of society.

Your religion and beliefs will not be dictated for you, but you will be expected to be able to defend them. Your father and I will not be disappointed if you choose to be a Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, or Atheist. I hope that you come to your own conclusions and find your place in the world. I hope that you know that even though you will be surrounded by this madness, that you will be loved and cherished by a family who wants nothing more than to see you succeed in spite of the world that surrounds you.

Love,
Your Future Mom

It's not often that I support Boston....

      I find that, as you grow up, you slowly find out that the world can be a very cruel place. There are people out there without good intentions whose sole aim is to cause havoc, destruction, and incite fear into peoples' lives. It is a sick reality that slowly becomes increasingly evident as we age. What happened yesterday in Boston was a terrible act of violence upon what was supposed to be a spectacularly celebrated day for so many people. Two bombs exploding in a crowd of innocent spectators on Patriots day in the 26th mile of a race dedicated that was dedicated to the 26 people who lost their lives in Newtown is absolutely sickening. 

      In the last decade and a half, I watched as planes hit two towers in a city that I consider my second home. I watched waters rush over the 9th ward in New Orleans when the levy broke during Katrina. I looked first hand at some of the destruction caused by Sandy. I watched as news of the shootings in the Aurora, Colorado movie theater, Sandy Hook Elementary, and Virginia Tech scrolled across my news feeds. Every night as you watch the news, it seems as though there is some atrocious act of inhumanity or nature wreaking havoc over our country. It is amazing how much damage so few people can do on our society. What is glossed over, often times, is the rallying that occurs afterwards. 

      On September 11th, 2001, the world watched as the people of New York ran through the streets of the financial district away from the Trade Centers. But, as that was happening, thousands of men and women were running towards the towers trying to get people out. People held vigilant for weeks looking for survivors in the rubble. The nation unified in a strong network of support as people from all across it descended upon the New York and Washington with their services.

      In 2005, the flood waters from Hurricane Katrina wrecked the 9th ward, killing some and displacing thousands. People flooded to the site to give aid and volunteer. To this day, people are still returning to volunteer and raising money to rebuild.

      As one disturbed individual went into an Elementary School and proceeded to harm students, teachers and other faculty barricaded the children in hiding places and used themselves as shields to keep them safe. Then in the aftermath, millions of people rallied their support to the small town offering any assistance that they could.

      Yesterday in Boston, a radical minority caused extreme pain in the heart of a strong city. They left three dead and over a hundred people injured. Scenes of terror were blaring through every American television leaving the nation stunned and terrified. But even in this situation, there were people rising to the occasion. Within seconds of the bomb blast, you see first responders and marathon volunteers running towards the chaos. There is footage of people plowing through the rubble to help those in the direct blast zone. People who had just finished a marathon continued running on to hospitals in an attempt to donate blood to the victims. Boston residents offered up their homes to victims and stranded individuals and came into the streets offering them food and water as comfort. Former Patriot Joe Andruzzi spent hours carrying injured people to safety. 

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.” -Fred Rogers

      There is evil in this world. There is a lot of evil in this world: some human, some nature. The only thing is the amount of good is in the majority. Regardless of whether it was one person behind what happened yesterday or a hundred people behind it, no matter what it is one a fraction to what good was displayed yesterday. Acts of inhumanity are often times what prompt the biggest acts of humanity. In the wake of adversity, our American citizens always come together in a strong resolve of unity and kindred spirit which is much stronger than any act of terrorism that can be perpetrated against them.